so you have some mommy issues WHO DOESN'T!!!

well my mommy passed away NOT A SURPRISE SHE'S BEEN KILLING HERSELF FOR THE LAST TEN YEARS but funny never ever ready for it . Ive spent so many years being mad taking care of her worrying about her trying to get help to help herself that i never even really thought what it would really truly be like without her , of course at first it was a relief she had become so emotionally draining the guilt trips made me run for counseling and thank god i was smart enough to do that  years ago , and thank god i did.  i can only imagine what i would be feeling  right now if i hadn't i was so lucky to have found a fantastic lady who told me debbie you love your mom you just can't make her happy it will never be enough THE TRUEST WORDS I EVER HEARD but it was hard never being or doing  enough it was hard watching a person kill herself because she felt unloved when there was so much around her I TRIED CRYING, BEGGING , ANGER NOTHING WORKED this was her story and it was going to be her way but now as the days are slowly but swiftly passing by i remember the love and support and so many good times i wish i could of had keep those a little closer and less bitterness BUT SHOULD OF AND WOULD OF DON'T COUNT FOR SHIT!! I know my mom knows were my angry came from i loved her so much EVER SINCE I WAS A KID THE WORST THING THAT I THOUGHT COULD HAPPEN TO ME JUST DID !!!MY MOM IS GONE for her sake i know it was a blessing for everyone she was a tortured  soul and her time on this life especiaally near the end rarely was there joy.  i will always try to remember the good and most importantly THIS WAS HER STORY THESE WERE HER choices .  i wish her all the love in the world in her next journey and peace and happiness everything she never had in this life time  THIS WILL BE YOUR BEST MOTHER'S DAY IN A LONG TIME  your at peace and the pain and fear are gone love you to the moon and back xoxo